seriously! the weather in singapore is FREAKING HOT now! i now have to seek shelter in the GH lounge to study.. why?

because there is AIRCON!

i know, so pampered.

sheesh.

but seriously i feel like i’m just melting away.. shall go and take a bath before heading back to the lounge to study! who can study in this HEAT may i ask?

updated: i have come to the conclusion that aircon AIDS my studying! damn effective! hahaha.

oh my. shit, and here i am contributing even more to global warming!

how ironic.

maybe this is why the problem will never be solved, because when the temperature rises, we seek for comfort, which causes the temperature to rise even more, and so on and so forth.

i have also come to the conclusion that no one cares about me! hahaha. no messages left on my blog anymore! not even “good luck for your exams!”

wahhh. sheesh. okay, dinnertime. yes i’m rambling.

yup, so that was the theme for snappy shutters! for this week. and since i don’t have that many toys in hall, i decided to take photos of teddy bears instead.

so there, i put up this photo, titled “a little peck on the forehead“.

sweet right?

well. apparently.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

NO!

larry asked “Haha.where is the red teddy bear’s hand going?”

OMG!

like hello! it’s meant to be like a sweet little kiss, just like how it would be for human beings, isn’t it??

And the reason for that statement?

“The bear on the right seems far too happy :P“

oh.

.

.

ehh. well done.

honestly man. some people’s minds get too warped up!

lol.

damn sick. but damn funny.

a new found hobby of mine i would say. still pretty much a noob. but i really love how some people can just take photos that make you feel like you’re in the photo as well. wowww..

and it’s a good way to take of stress yeah? so here goes some recent photos i took.. some were uploaded onto the Snappy shutters group, others weren’t as there was a limit of 3 photos for submission per person. click on the caption or the photo for a larger image!

fine lines

getting creative with a copper wire

pretty purple passionfruit

experimental notes down the drain

handy dandy alarm clock

miniature museum

alrght, mugging time once again!

oh my! this is a seriously fun game! hahaha.

and funny hl had to join my table la!

and the coincidence? we both had the same facebook photo! so now it looks like we’re spamming the comments for the photos. lol.

okayy one game of poker, and i’m back to mugging okay!

jiayou angele! you can do it!

and i still can’t believe that dear said clare looked handsome.

woahhh

anyway, here’s an article i read:

How to Have Fun While Studying

If you find studying boring and difficult, (sounds just like me!) there are ways to change your mind. From making your environment more conducive to enjoying the study, to finding ways to help improve your concentration, studying can be made more interesting … and yes, even fun! Here are some tips to get you started

okay, let’s see what they say man

1. Use music. Put some music that has doesn’t have lyrics or words. Listen to it while you study. You might find that you can do anything while doing this, especially if it’s music that you find very inspiring. (uh uh, i can’t study with music!)
2. Keep snacks close. Get together some healthy snacks to nibble on as you study. Try not to have ones with lots of calories as you’re not moving much while studying. Allowing yourself a little nibble every now and then helps the study time to pass more pleasantly. (i don’t snack when i study!)
3. Create an excellent study area. This is really important. You must feel like you “own” your little study space, whether it be a corner, a den or a whole room. Even if space is tight, you can arrange with family that a certain space is yours for study at certain hours, no matter what. Decorate your spot with favorite things like postcards, knick-knacks, figurines, notes from friends etc. Even temporary spaces can be decorated with bits and pieces you keep in a portable box. But, try not to make your study area too distracting. The less clutter in your study area, the better. (oops. my study table is freaking crowded. maybe i ought to clear up!)
4. Provide good lighting and a comfortable chair which is at the right height for the desk. Nothing makes study more difficult than feeling uncomfortable as you sit and not being able to read the work properly. (i wish i had a more comfortable chair like the one i have at home! the one in hall is too hard!)
5. Ensure adequate ventilation. Nothing sends a person to sleep faster than lack of air. Get fresh air into your room regularly – even in winter! Make sure it circulates, even if this means using a fan in winter to blow around warm air; this is better than stale, stagnant air. (definitely. i don’t ever close my window. and i got the fan set to maximum speed!)
6. Have good temperature levels. Being too hot or too cold will make studying hard and you’ll be tempted to crawl off to somewhere more comfortable. Turn the heating on or the cooling if you can. If you can’t, then improvise and do what most students have always done to heat and cool: open or close windows & doors; use a red heat lamp at your feet (uses a lot less electricity); use a blanket; remove or put on extra layers; drink hot or cold drinks; put on a fan etc. (no air con here though i wish there was sincei it’s too hot)
7. Get groovy stationery & desk gear. Your supplies can encorurage you to study – a pen that feels just right in your hand, paper that is so soft the pen glides over it, a bookstand that stops your book from slumping over, a row of colored highlighters begging to be used and a scented eraser that smells delicious. Think of the things that you enjoy having around you at study time and make these your little props for amusing yourself with during the study. Don’t let them distract you from the study though! (erm, haha. i don’t think i have those groovy pens. mine are plain and boring)
8. Schedule time for study, time for play. Don’t look at study as a never-ending process. Give it its timeslot and devote yourself to it during this times and then reward yourself with the things you really feel like doing afterwards. Use the study time effectively, don’t doodle, feel sorry for yourself or call up friends. That just stretches out the pain and increases your lack of interest. Assign the tasks to be done, do them and then forget about it and go and do the other stuff that you feel like doing. (use time effectively!! yeessss!!!)
9. Look at your study from a different perspective. Maybe it’s study in an area you really dislike or you just don’t care about. Try to think outside the actual pages before you and put the topic into a wider perspective. Think of the sorts of careers people have using this study topic; think of how everyday problems are solved using the techniques that the study is requiring of you. This can help to enliven otherwise dull matter and can also impress a teacher if you show how this knowledge applies elsewhere in some way. It demonstrates application to the topic in spite of your reservations. And hopefully, it also helps to chase away the boredom of it. (yup, application is extremely important!)
10. Realize that study is about more than the topic before you. Sure, it might not grab you the same way that a basketball game outdoors would or a TV show you’re missing because of the study. All the same, you’re learning coping skills. You’re learning how to prioritize, how to be patient and how to deal with something you don’t like or feel disinterested in. Perhaps it doesn’t feel like it at the time but these are some of life’s most important skills because you’ll come up against the temptation to fall into boredom many times – during work, a meeting, ceremonies, even parties! You’re also learning about the general way the world works and where you might best slot into it yourself. How can you be sure you do or don’t want to do things in life unless you know about them first? (woah. that’s true!)
11. Get a pet to encourage you! If you have a household friend, such as a cat or a fish, you can have them around you as you study. Purring cats provide a great source of rhythmical comfort that can ease the studying time and a fish swimming around and around can do wonders for reminding you that it’s worth studying so that you can become a bigger fish in a sea of many. (oops. pets not allowed in halls!)
12. Take breaks. Frequent, short breaks are better for you and your thinking processes than infrequent, long breaks. Set an alarm on your computer or on a clock to go off every half hour and go for a stretch, get a coffee or milkshake, see what the weather’s like outside. No matter how old you are, try to make your material into a game. It works so well. If you have a younger brother or sister, let them help you. Make up a song or a rap about your material. You would be surprised by how much it helps. (yup, breaks are great to refresh yourself!)
13. If you are doing word problems in math, change the problem to make it more interesting or even a bit silly. For example: Beth has 5 apples. If she goes to the apple orchard and picks 5 times the amount of apples she already has, but drops 3 on the way home how many apples she have now? Isn’t that a boring problem? You CAN make it more interesting…For example: Mr. Gidget has 5 bubbles. He goes to the magical bubble island and his friend Mr. Gadget gives him 5 times the amount of bubbles he already has. If Mr. Gidget drops 3 of the bubbles into a pit filled with needles, how many bubbles does he have? Isn’t that better? If you use funny names, objects you like, or made-up places, the problem is 10 times more interesting. (ehh, how can you possibly change names like profilin, gelsolin, tropomodulin, cytochalasin d, phalloidin… you get my drift)
14. If you like music, create a short song about the general points of what you’re studying. If you don’t have time to make a song, search youtube. Chances are is there will be some sort of relevant song. You might want to start with the Animaniacs. OK, they’re weird, but I used a lot of their songs and if you just sing them to yourself YOU WILL ACE THAT TEST!!! Be sure to print out the lyrics to the songs and make it a point to sing the song at least once a night so you’ll remember it. (haha, where got so much time!)
15. Make flash cards. The best site on the internet to make flashcards on is Quizlet. When making your flashcards, always do the term in capitol letters and the definition in lowercase letters. Using different handwriting, colors, and decorating your flashcards will help you remember them. Be sure that you actually USE your flashcards. Just making them won’t do anything for you at all. (haha, i just use post its and stick it on the notes so that i won’t lose them)
16. Go over your notes and draw pictures. For example, If one of your notes is “Ohio produces more cheese than Wisconsin”, draw some cheese and a picture of Ohio smiling and Wisconsin frowning. This works really well if you are a visual learner. (i’m visual, kinesthetic and auditory at the same time! how?)
17. If you are reading your textbook, use funny accents or weird voices. It is also good if you record yourself and listen to the recording at least once every night. (siao!)
18. Use mnemonic devices. For example, the 5 great lakes = HOMES (Huron, Ontario, Michigan, Erie, Superior) However, make them creative so that you can easily remember them. A creative one that I have heard for remebering the eight levels of classification is Dumb King Philip Came Over From Greece Sneezing (Domain, Kingdom, Phylum, Class, Order, Family, Genus, Species) (yes this one i would always use it!)
19. Make small posters that you can hang up around you room or around your house. Decorate them and draw pictures. On the night before the test or quiz, present and explain them to your family. (family’s not in hall to present to)
20. If you need to study for a spelling test, eat alphabet cereal in the morning. Have a parent or sibling read a word from your list to you. If you spell the word correctly with the cereal, you can eat it!
21. Grab a friend that is goofy but can be serious and create a skit. This works especially well for social studies (you can re-enact the pilgrims landing at Plymouth Rock, for example) and Language Arts (Enact the ending or one of the key points to whatever book you’re reading. Be sure that you say exactly what the characters in the book say, even if it sounds cheesy)
22. Pretend you’re a teacher and create a test or quiz that you can take yourself or make your older sibling(s) and/or parent(s) take. Have a parent or older sibling that didn’t take the test grade it. If you feel confident, you can grade it yourself.
23. If you have to take a test on some boring book in English class, try replacing the characters in the story with characters from video games, TV shows, or characters from any other forms of media if you can. This makes the material a LOT more interesting.

TIPS

• Things not to do during a study break:
  • Check e-mails – you’ll end up answering them instead
  • Check on brothers, sisters, parents etc. – you’ll end up chatting and getting waylaid
  • Phoning friends – you’ll chat for ages
  • Play games (video, ball, board, miniatures etc.) – you’ll just get involved in them and forget to return
  • Switching on the TV – you’ll end up watching it
• If you’re having a really hard time settling into a study routine, speak with someone at school or university about it who is trained in study skills; they will have a lot of tricks to help you. Also look around your study space and assess it for distractions – is there too much noise, too much clutter, too many people wandering through without warning, inadequate light, cooking smells etc? Try to find the problems that distract you and either eliminate or reduce them.
• If you are finding a subject boring because you are struggling with it, seek help from a tutor, older brother or sister, a parent, a friend or anyone you can trust to help you to learn it more easily. At college/university level, you may need to assess deeply if you have made the right choice or whether it would be better to change subjects or even courses. Don’t despair – there is always help.
• Visit the library if your study is boring because you miss the presence of people around you. The general hubbub of others in the background can be a great sense of reassurance and motivation to some students. Plus, you can grab those old-fashioned things called books straight off the shelves and add your new-found knowledge to your studies!
• Healthy study snacks include raisins, sunflower seeds, dark chocolate pieces, (i didn’t know dark chocolate was healthy! now i have an excuse! hahaha) dried cranberries, small crackers, cheese pieces, home-made cookies (in moderation!), jello, fruit, vegetables sticks such as celery/carrot, hummus dip, etc. Occasional lapses for times of severe stress (i.e., exams & essay due dates): small amounts of chocolate bars, store bought cookies, chips & slices of cake. All in moderation, of course, and regular, healthy meals must be maintained for the sake of your health.

WARNING

• For music: you can get too much into it and pay more attention to the rhythm than the study. Turn it off if this is happening to you. Not everyone can tolerate music or noise while they study.
• Don’t overeat to reduce stress and get adequate sleep during times of cramming, swotting etc. No need to make yourself ill – it’s another of life’s lessons about taking everything in your stride and coping well.
• Don’t get down over study hurdles. Everyone has mental blocks, gets fed up and needs for time-out from any activity, even for a period of time. Be gentle on yourself, take a break and get yourself back together again before you give up on your studies. Also, seek assistance if you have special learning disabilities; there are excellent, trained assistants in many schools and universities on call to help out. Have faith – they’re there to help you, not to tell you that you can’t do it.
• Don’t ever promise yourself you’ll just watch one show, just listen to one song, just check one email, or “just do one” anything. You’ll end up losing track of time and get hooked into the TV, Ipod, emails, or whatever it is.

dear me. slap me. i’m NOT concentrating!

damn happy when i handed in lab report yesterday! haha. a lot of my mind. phew~~ so now officially i’ve got 3 modules to mug only. well, not exactly ONLY if you look at the amount of notes in my fileSSSSS. but yeah. you get the point.

when i went to lab yesterday to hand it in:

edwin the TA: ANGELE! YOU’RE LATE!
me: no i’m not (i know it doesn’t take me 30minutes to walk from hall to lab okay!)
edwin: *looks at his watch* oh ya hor. haha, a few minutes close to being late!

hmm, it’s not a few minutes lah! i reached there FIFTEEN minutes before the deadline okay!! hahahaha.

anyway, I LOVE YOU DEAR!!! *MUACKS MUACKS*

haha, so random..

hl and nx, shall we go to CAFE DEL MAR some day after my exams?? when would be a good date?? suggest suggest!! i’ll be back on 19th may :D

CAN’T WAIT!

amidst all this lab report shit (40%! cannot do it sloppily!!)…

I’M SO FREAKING EXCITED FOR AUSSIE!

that shall be my motivation to mug for my exams!!

:D:D:D

wheeeeee~~~~~~

kapoked photos from hl cos silly me didn’t bring camera again!! grrr… everytime i go for tuition before something else i seem to forget to bring my camera! or maybe cos i was running late and couldn’t even think of that in time lah.

anyway, photos!

my jiejie and i. and his msn nick is causing me cramps! hahah. he still refuses to say who that girl is! irritating

:(

hl and i. hmm i like the lighting somehow!

the girls and the birthday boy!

(he’s so lucky to have 3 hot babes taking photo with him ok!)

L to R

back: MJ aka the rock, clare aka my jiejie, kt (aka kaaaannnnggttttiiiinnng), weiliang aka hotduck

front: chin leng, nx aka my relation, me, hl aka arielism (or ari-sa-lim as how clare pronounces it!), ben aka.. the-one-who-always-loses-in-a-fight and the-one-whom-we-suan-all-day-long

it’s seriously damn funny to suan ben.

and he gets suaned like all the time man!

even when he’s standing there doing nothing! hurhur!

relation and i!!! :)
yes lah. i look very ugly in specs.. but i ran out of contacts and haven’t had the time to buy them yet. shit, must buy them before i fly off for aussie, if not i’ll look ugly!

:(

photos with only 1/20 of me left looks good! haha. can’t tell how fat i am! oh wait, but then again i have a fat face even if you don’t look at the fat body! :(

and no lor hl, everyone is in colour but me!! :(
(although you know, i’m dressed in 7 colours technically!)

played texas hold’em using chips. not chips as in money chips, but POTATO CHIPS instead! hahaha. this isn’t even the end of the game.. and look and the plate that contain hl, nx and my chips! (although i think nx went bankrupt already, no?)

didn’t put up the blurry photos cos i had a headache looking at them! haha.

ohh ohh..

and i found this super-long-ago photo! it was on joel’s facebook but i only added him recently.. so yeah..

i hate that dress of mine! i can’t breathe in it lah! the chest area was so freaking tight :(

don’t know why my parents bought that dress for me :(

oh and that’s my birthday gift from river island from the class. totally dig it!

hahah, i’m full of randomness once again

oh and i made this for dear, using copper wire kapoked from his lab

nice right? hahhaha.

okay lah. that’s all. stupid clare, kept talking about meeting up when nx and i have to MUG!!!

:(

never mind.. when exams end i tell you, i’m going to have the time of my life with my dear!

wheeeeeeeeee

can’t wait for aussie trip!

The next ten minutes

listen to this song! it’s really very nice :) sorry i can’t seem to embed imeem into wordpress. that’s the problem with wordpress

:(

but anyway, it’s a really lovely song! i fell in love with it already! hahaha.

here are the lyrics:

JAMIE
No, that one’s Jerry Seinfeld
That one’s John Lennon there
No, the Dakota
The San Remo is up a few blocks
Have you been inside the Museum?
We should go
Meet the dinosaurs

cathy

Will you share your life with me
For the next ten minutes?
For the next ten minutes
We can handle that
We could watch the waves
We could watch the sky
Or just sit and wait
As the time ticks by
And if we make it till then
Can I ask you again
For another ten?

And if you in turn agree
To the next ten minutes
And the next ten minutes
Till the morning comes
Then just holding you
Might compel me to
Ask you for more
There are so many lives I want to share with you
I will never be complete until I do

CATHERINE
I’m not always on time
Please don’t expect that from me
I will be late
But if you can just wait
I will make it eventually

Not like it’s in my control
Not like I’m proud of the fact
But anything other than being exactly on time
I can do

I don’t know why people run
I don’t know why things fall through
I don’t know how anybody survives in this life
Without someone like you
I could protect and preserve
I could say no and goodbye
But why, Jamie, why?

I want to be your wife
I want to bear your child
I want to die
Knowing I
Had a long, full life in your arms
That I can do
Forever, with you

JAMIE
Will you share your life with me

CATHERINE
Forever

JAMIE
For the next ten lifetimes?

CATHERINE
Forever, Jamie

JAMIE
For a million summers

BOTH
Till the world explodes
Till there’s no one left
Who has ever known us apart

JAMIE
There are so many dreams
I need to see with you…

CATHERINE
There are so many years
I need to be with you…

JAMIE
I will never be complete

CATHERINE
I will never be alive

JAMIE
I will never change the world
Until I do

CATHERINE
I do

JAMIE
I do

CATHERINE
I do

BOTH
I do…

CATHERINE
Is that one John Lennon?
That’s the San Remo
Isn’t that the Museum?
Can we go see the dinosaurs?

oh my gosh. i was walking to the toilet to pee.. then i saw this outside the pantry at G5!!

oh man! this was the type of snake that was chasing me as i was walking back along kent ridge road the other day. scary!

and now the pantry is so smelly! :(

just a series of how to be.. [insert something here]

lameness i know. but.. hahah, enjoy!

How to be emo

How to be gangster

How to be nerd

oh, and here’s another boliao thingy.

http://members.iinet.net.au/~pontipak/redsquare.html

i am so full of randomness!

i’ll be better after cell bio exam later! i’m sure it’s just the cyclins, Cdks, etc in my brain!

or maybe you know, there’s like apoptosis of my brain cells right now! that explains why i’m so stupid.

:(:(:(

ahhh.

crappy entry yet again.

wish me luck!

okayy. time to eat peanut better white bread for lunch! pathetic i know! and i kop-ed it from dining hall during breakfast somemore! oh well, desperate calls for desperate measures you know! and i think i can actually finish studying for the test! though of course, i would need to revise everything once again.. arrrrgghhh.

okay, stop blogging. get offline, pluck out lan cable!

byeeeee!

cell bio test tomorrow and i have 6 more sets of lecture notes to go through. i have just finished photocopying the notes from ann. thank goodness my printer/photocopier is FAST.

fuck la. i’m shittingly DEAD.

i’m sorry for the use of vulgarities. i’m not exactly in the right mind to think now.

well i came across this and i thought it’s really quite interesting. i merely copied and pasted, cos i’m too lazy to retype everything, especially since i have a french test later which i have just started studying for! haha. well done.

Introduction to the Ladder

The ladder theory is a theory of adult male/female interaction. It has its basis in many years of sociological field testing. it was first conceptualized in 1994 in Exeter, CA. My acknowledgements to Jared Whitson for his role in formalizing the theory.

Foundations of Ladder Theory

Sally: We are just going to be friends, OK?
Harry: Great, friends. It’s the best thing…You realize, of course, that we can never be friends.
Sally: Why not?
Harry: What I’m saying is – and this is not a come-on in any way, shape, or form – is that men and women can’t be friends, because the sex part always gets in the way.
Sally: That’s not true. I have a number of men friends and there is no sex involved.
Harry: No, you don’t.
Sally: Yes, I do.
Harry: No, you don’t.
Sally: Yes, I do.
Harry: You only think you do.
Sally: You’re saying I’m having sex with these men without my knowledge?
Harry: No, what I’m saying is they all want to have sex with you.
Sally: They do not.
Harry: Do too.
Sally: They do not.
Harry: Do too.
Sally: How do you know?
Harry: Because no man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her.
Sally: So you’re saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive.
Harry: No, you pretty much want to nail them, too.
Sally: What if they don’t want to have sex with you?
Harry: Doesn’t matter, because the sex thing is already out there, so the friendship is ultimately doomed, and that is the end of the story.

Before we get to the core of the ladder theory let’s introduce a few lemmas.

Lemma 1:Every time you meet someone you give them a quick mental rating. Just how this is done is based on your sex, like so:

It should be noted that this is not an entirely conscious process. To make it clear here’s an illustrative example of what really happens:

• Bob Meets Jane
• Then Bob Meets Connie

Now the ladder theory description goes like this:

1. Bob Meets Jane
2. Bob sizes her up based on the above criterion
3. Bob puts her on the ladder
4. Bob meets Connie
5. Bob sizes her up based on the above criterion
6. Bob puts her on the ladder above Jane

You can recognize this has gone on because Bob says ” I’d like to fuck Jane, but not as much as I want to fuck Connie”

I think that everyone has heard this or something like it enough times for us to accept it as axiomatic and move on. You might be thinking, ” Well what about Jane and Connie?” We’ll get to them next.

The Rating System: A Short Aside

The graphs on the previous page were not thrown together arbitrarily–they represent years of field testing. I say this because this is invariably the section I take the most flak for. Although almost all guys who have not had the manhood stripped out of them know this intuitively. As far as intellectual whores can determine, the average female bitch has a rating system that works like this:

So the breakdown looks like:

Money and Power: 50%

Attraction: 40%

Things Women Say They Care About But Do Not: 10%
(this includes intelligence, sense of humor, honesty, sensitivity etc. )

As to the first point, that of money. Well most guys know that women dig guys with money. Would Donald Trump be fucking models if he wasn’t rich? That question is rhetorical. Now I don’t even believe this is wrong, I think it is just nature. But I also think women who are this way (and it is almost all of you) should be honest and admit that they are basically whores, and stop saying bad things about the so-called “actual whores” who are just trying to earn an honest living.

Most women read this and say something like, “Well I’m not the average woman because..blah…blah…not true…blah blah…my boyfriend/lover/husband/masseuse was poor…blah…blah.”

If you thought something like this you are very likely the average woman. If you read it and went “Hmmm…” and then you went back to doing physics, then you have a case.

Looks are not to be discounted. I see many girls revert to about a seventh grade emotional level when they see some guy at the club, or some guy from a crappy movie. I think everyone has seen this phenomena, and it seems to have become an alarming trend in women of increasing age.

The attraction category is broken down further in the next section. This is a change from previous versions of the ladder theory that included looks here instead of attraction. I feel this is a more accurate depiction, as evidenced by experiment and peer review.

The last 10% was my effort to give women the benefit of the doubt. A common question men ask of women is “Tell me what you want in a man?”, which is like asking how many guys she’s slept with, an invitation to be lied to. Because she’ll almost invariably answer with some combination of

• sense of humor
• intelligence
• sensitivity
• emotional stability

As far as I can tell this is mostly rubbish. But in an effort to be fair I have included this, since there seem to be a few rare cases of this. Just none that I have ever seen.

Another thing to watch out for is the code words women use. Here is a translation guide for dealing with women.

Says: I want a man who is motivated and has goals.
Means: I want a rich man

Says: I want a man who knows how to treat a woman.
Means: I want a rich man

Says: He’s from a really good family.
Means: He’s from a really rich family.

I’m sure you get the point. Let’s move on.

Deconstructing the Woman’s Pie Chart

It was previously thought that the pie chart was fundamental. New advances in Ladder Theory have brought us to a more complete understanding. We have made new advances in the inner structure of the woman’s rating system and now present it here.

First let’s look at the rating system in Classical Ladder Theory

Now this is a fairly accurate description, and is essentially accurate. It misses a number of fine points. By defining the 40% block as “looks” the theory had originally assumed that looks were influenced by factor’s other than just phyical attraction. For example, a guy who is a complete asshole to a woman seems to somehow look better to them. It soon became apparent from peer review that the term looks was inappropriate and has been replaced by the more accurate “attraction”. The new chart then looks like this.

Previously it had been assumed that looks was fundamental. That is, that it could not be broken down any further, and that a score was assigned based on whatever biological principles made women attracted to men. Through extensive research we have been able to discern the inner structure of attraction. A chart will illustrate a very close approximation of the inner structure of attraction for the female. Commentary to follow.

Physical Attraction/Looks – This is still a big factor in attraction. This is self-explanatory.

Competition – I almost titled this section disinterest. The two are closely related. We can only pursue what runs away from us. A man who is devoted to something else besides the woman is autmatically more attractive. Any intellectual whore who has ever listened to a girl complain about how her boyfriend-ran-off-with-a-slut or how her boyfriend-is-really-not-dumb-he’s-just-streetsmart-and-he- has-to-sell-weed-to-support-his-baby’s-mama or he’s-really-nice-even-though-he-ignores-me-and-hits-me-sometimes-but-you-don’t- know-what-he’s-like-when-we’re-alone or he’s-not-emotionally-available-that’s-why-I-like-talk-to-you-until-it’s-time-to-go-fuck-him while he himself is sitting right there and would like nothing better than to be with her but of course is sitting solidly on the friends ladder knows this intuitively. Ultimately, almost all guys learn this truth for themselves: The best way to never score with a woman is to show too much interest in her.

Women seem to especially like it if you are more devoted to your bad music, biker gang, forearm tattoo or marijuana. These all seem to work wonders. There are some interests you can show in a woman that will help you to fuck her: a healthy interest in destroying her self-esteem and in fucking her friends more than her seem to work wonders. Note that the following topics of disinterest have been field tested and shown conclusively not to work: Unix, literature, poetry, international politics, and sodomy.

Novelty – Let’s face it, if you’re like every other guy who works a normal job and tries to live a good life, you’re probably like just about every other guy. Chicks don’t dig this, and why would they? Who wants someone who is just like everyone else? Something different is more attractive. Like someone who does not have to work during the day like most people because they have lots of money from business or selling drugs. Or like someone who has stabbed a man and went to prison for it. Different and a veritable ticket to getting laid.

Deconstructing money/power

“Power is a great aphrodesiac” – Notorious Asshole and War Criminal Henry Kissinger
“A woman’s test is material. A man’s test is a woman…if a man could fuck in a cardboard box, he wouldn’t buy a house.” – Rabbi Dave Chappelle

It was previously assumed that money was a fundamental unit of attraction to a woman. Further investigation has revealed a better understanding of this very important piece of the woman’s rating system. The piece which was formerly labelled money has been replaced by a money/power paradigm. The two are almost always intertwined in a way that makes them hard to distinguish, so I don’t think it productive to make a chart of how they breakdown exactly. One almost always follows the other in any case.

What is important to know about the money/power piece is that previously it was thought of as static. Now we know that the money/power piece of attraction displays time-variance. That is, the amount of money needed to get maximal “points” in the money category varies according to the age of the woman. When a woman is younger her perspective is different as to what makes a lot of money. As she gets older the amount of money neccessary for full points increases.

For a girl of 16 full points for money might be obtained by having access to a car and beer money. When she is in her early college years, a nicer car and enough money to join a fraternity is probably sufficient. As she advances into her twenties what we consider to be the normal money chart will begin to manifest itself — that is, she’ll want the richest man she can get.

At no point that we can discern does money ever not become a factor. Take any guy. Take a woman that has that guy. In no circumstance that is known would she not rather have a guy just like that, but with more money. Actually, maybe in one circumstance — when the guy has enough money to buy her basically everything she wants. This is self-evident, I should think.

Dreams of a Final Theory

I think is very very close to a final analysis of how a woman’s rating system works. If you are very attractive, rich, and novel and show no interest in her she is almost guaranteed to want to fuck you. Indeed, isn’t this the very definition of Alpha Male? In this way we have derived from our theoretical framework an idea that agrees with observation and experiment to many degrees of accuracy. It also provides a frameowrk for the Logic. Strive to be attractive, novel and aloof and you will go far.

Construction of the Ladder

Now for the core of the theory. Since everyone you meet has a rating, it is only natural to stack them up on a ladder. Let’s look at the ladder of some example man.

So it should be self-evident, if you are following this at all, that the people you want to have sex with the most will be at the top of the ladder. Descending down to the bottom of the ladder we pass the following people:

1. The people we really want, who may even be out of our league, are on top
2. Then come the people we like
3. Moving further down we pass the people who we would fuck if we were intoxicated and would admit to doing it later.
4. At the bottom are the people we would fuck drunk, and would lie about doing it later.

Clinging to the bottom are the girls that are wolf ugly. These are women so ugly you would chew your own arm off to get away rather than fuck them. Usually fake teeth, or the loss of several hundred pounds can move a woman up from wolf ugly.
Now let’s take a look at what the typical woman’s ladder looks like:

The first thing to notice here is that a woman has not one ,but two ladders. This is becasue in addition the normal ladder, a woman also has a friends ladder. The friends ladder is where a woman puts guys that she considers “just friends”. More to the point where she puts guys who don’t get to have sex with her.

The problem arises because a woman never lets a guy know which ladder he is on. Obviously there is a huge difference, or gap between these two ladders. It is in this gap that kisses of death are delivered and intellectual whores are made. All a man can do is “go for it” and make a move on a girl; ask her out, try to kiss her, write her a love note or whatever. If he’s on the good ladder fine. If he is on the friends ladder this is a case of ladder jumping. The man is trying to jump the gap from the friends ladder to the real ladder. The girl has two choices at this point: she can let him on the ladder and all is well, or, more likely, she can kick him in the head, and off the ladder. If you look you’ll see that below the ladder is the Abyss(what was it Nietzsche said about a man being on a rope stretched over an Abyss?….well it’s worse than he thought; there is no rope.) So the man falls into the Abyss. The Abyss isn’t really as bad as it sounds. Mostly it’s a period of self-loathing, embarrassment, and of course utter awkwardness with the girl in question if they are talking at all.

To fully illustrate the point I’ll now examine some common scenarios and their ladder theory explanations. For purposes of these examples Tom will be our boy and Jane will be out girl.

Scenario 1: Tom meets Jane. She’s pretty and seems interesting to talk to. Tom and Jane start haging out and talking more and more. Tom develops an attraction to Jane, and one day tries to kiss her. Jane tell Tom she doesn’t think of him that way and she wants to remain friends. The next few weeks contact between the two falls off. Jane starts fucking an outlaw biker.

Ladder Theory Explanation: Tom met Jane. Tom was immediately placed on the friends ladder. Tom didn’t know this. Tom tried to jump ladders. Jane kicked Tom in the head rather than let him on and sent him hurtling to the Abyss below. The oulaw biker was not on her friends ladder (they never are) but rather on her good ladder.

Scenario 2: Tom meets Jane. She’s cute and seems smart. After an appropriate amount of time he asks her out on a date. She acccepts and they have what seems to be a perfectly nice date. Tom thinks he has a chance with Jane. He asks her out again. She says no, either explicitly or by never returning his phone call. Tom has no idea what the Hell just happened. Jane starts fucking an unemployed alcoholic.

Ladder Theory Explanation: Jane misrepresented which ladder Tom was on. He thought he was on the good ladder because of her acceptance of the date. Mistake. This led to an unintentional ladder jump. He was kicked into the Abyss. In this situation, Jane often wants to stay friends becasue you are so interesting and funny or some shit like that. If this happens you are most likely an Intellectual Whore. I’m sorry. This is most likely to be a ninja-bitch.

Scenario 3: A girl says any of the following to you:

• “You’re like a brother to me”
• “You’re like a big teddy bear”
• “I feel like I can talk to you about anything”
• “You’re so nice”
• “Can you help me with my homework”

Ladder Theory Explanation: You are on the friends ladder. So Sorry.
You can see that a lot of problems can be avoided(though sadly not problem two) by declaring as soon as possible to a girl that you will not be friends under any circumstances. You can explain that she is too attractive or you can be blunt and say you don’t want to bend your “friends” over a table and fuck them, but would rather play poker and go to the races with them, thus disqualifying her from friendship. As long as you are clear. This may scare a girl away. But if it does what would you want with such a skittish little twit anyway?

Next we’ll explore some of the consequences of the ladder and applications in every day life.

Hidden Variables in the Ladder

The Ladder Theory is assumed to be correct for all classical phenomena. There do seem to be some “hidden” variables that modify the Ladder to some extent. These variables do not affect the rating system, nor do they affect the fundamental theorems of the Ladder. They do, however, modify how we act with regard to the Ladder.

These are the hidden variables that have been identified.

Religiosity:

While most people, even people who believe in God, will have sex before they are married and thus fall under the rules of the ladder, some people are so religious they will not have sex until they are married. This is of course a silly and anachronistic practice, but it does occur. In this case, the Ladder should me modified as follows: change instances of ‘would have sex with’ to be ‘would like to have sex with.’ This works because while religious people have the same impulses, they choose to deny them as opposed to embracing them.

Drunkenness:

Of course when drunk we do things we wouldn’t do otherwise. Usually when sobriety sets in, there is a return to the tenets of the ladder theory. In most cases, it should be noted, repressed Americans use being drunk as an excuse to do what they wanted to do anyway, so one should be very careful in applying this variable. For example, I’m drunk as I type this, but I would have typed it anyway, even though I might fall back on that excuse if there are a lot of typos in there or it doens’t stand up to peer review. Do not let me get away with this.

Loyalty:

A lot of people have asked about the significant others of friends and if they are special cases of the Ladder. They are not. These are not your friends. These are virtual friends. For example, a friend of mine is fucking a girl. I like her, she’s great, we get along, etc… But when they break up she is dead to me. Or if the friend leaves the picture the normal rules of the Ladder apply. So are we really friends? Of course not. We are conditional friends. This does not affect where she goes on the Ladder. Think of it like this: the Ladder is a rating system, and I’ll rate her along with everyone else based on how much I would like to fuck them. A note for guys: if your friends girl offers you a piece you should hit that shit, because he shouldn’t be laying up with no ho. Ideally you should tape it also, because most guys will believe the person they’re fucking.

Desperation:

What desperation does is shift downward the line of quality that one would consider for fucking. There is a line on the ladder that is the quality of the last person you were fucking. Since one of the purposes of life, if not the purpose, is to move up the ladder, you want someone above this line. Sometimes you can’t find someone above this line. This leads to a virtual shift in the line downward as one gets more and more in need of a fuck. But in terms of what a person wants, nothing changes — you’d leave your desperation fuck for someone else with the requisite ladder attributes.

Hidden Variables and Sanity

Note that all known hidden variables are indicative of an altered consciousness of some kind. At the ‘limit of sanity’ the Classical ladder’s rating system still applies. So I don’t feel that these change the core theory, but explain times when the theory is not able to be applied because your perception is wrong.

Back to the Beginning: Yes Virginia, They All Want to Bang You.

You’ll note that a man has one ladder while a female has two. The man is lacking a “friends ladder.” The man’s ladder reflects the conventional wisdom that a man generally only wants one thing. That’s because the conventional wisdom is correct. This leads us back to the conclusion that many women I have explained this to find so distasteful:

IF A MAN FINDS YOU ATTRACTIVE YOU CANNOT BE FRIENDS

Many women want to argue this point and say things like ” I have lots of guy friends.” Maybe. There are exactly 3 cases Intellectual Whores has identified whereby a guy and a girl can be friends:

1. The guy is gay
2. The guy does not find you attractive.
3. The guy already has a woman much higher than you on the ladder

Even Nietzsche knew this. Most guys know this intuitively. Most girls doubt. I have a challenge for all of you girls who still doubt. Pick a guy who does not meet any of the criterion on the above list that you think is your friend. Then ask yourself this question: If you were both alone at his place one night, and you excused yourself to the bathroom and came out naked and asked him to have sex with you would he:

1. Tell you he doesn’t want to risk the beautiful friendship you have created with messy physical entanglements.
2. Comply

Remember this only works if you are honest with yourself. Number one is of course something that guys hear all the time. Intellectual Whores refers to it as the Kiss of Death. It is more likely that he will jump you eagerly.

Consequences of the Ladder

Toward a Meaning of Life

Convieniently, the ladder theory answers the oft asked question, “What is the purpose of life?” The purpose of life is to move up the ladder. The person you are with now should be better (higher on your ladder) than the person you were last with. Okay it’s not perfect but if you have no direction in life, trying to fuck hotter and hotter chicks or richer and richer guys is as good a place as any to start. In addition to giving a good base toward a meaning of life there are a few other things that ladder theory explains.

Topping out the Ladder:

Have you ever seen a guy that was not particularly attractive, rich or muscled yet was with a lovely woman? For most guys the most common reaction is envy, something like “Hey I’m not all that muscled, attractive or rich either. Why can’t I be fucking a girl like that?” We at intellectual whores used to feel this way about “stump factor” as well. But then ladder theory was discovered and we realized that it was more rational to pity this man.

Ladder theory tells us that the purpose of life is to move up the ladder. When their relationship ends, he will probably never be able to get another woman as good as the one he is with right now — the rest of his life he’ll likely be striving in vain. In effect, he’s doomed the whole rest of his life to meaninglessness unless he marries this girl. This of course is just trading one type of doom for another.

Ladder Disparity

The ladder is obviously a two-way process. When Bob meets Jane he puts her on his ladder and she puts him on her ladder. It often happens that one person is a lot higher on your ladder than you are on theirs, or vice versa. The leads to a situation that looks like this:

Notice that Bob has Jane very low while Bob is very high on Jane’s ladder. He is most likely rich and she is most likely ugly. Anyhow this is a classic case of disparity. If we connect the two points we can make a right triangle. The resulting hypotenuse “c” is the magnitude of the disparity.

Common shorthand among ladder thoerists is “Well, she caught him fucking a stewardess and didn’t leave him but what do you expect for a level 5 disparity.” The position of being high on someone else’s ladder while having them low on yours is referred to as being in the “upper” or “power” position. This is good and leads to different things depending on who is in the power position.

If the man is in the upper position the disparity is a measure of how long the woman will put up with him cheating, using her physically without committing, or paying his rent and all his bills.

If the woman is in the power position then it is a measure of how much the man will spend money on her, fetch her things at midnight, and listen to stories about other guys she is fucking.

Manifestations of the Ladder

Classical Ladder Theory admittedly treats relationships as binary, in the sense of sex or not-sex. There are in-between cases, which I feel the Ladder addresses. In this section we will take some common scenarios and see how they are explained within the framework of ladder theory. The first two, cuddle bitches and friends with benefits, were proposed in an email I received so I have dealt with them first.

On Cuddle Bitches

Cuddle Bitches

cuddle bitch(n) – a guy who never gets to sleep with a girl but gets to have intimate moments with her like cuddling, spooning, or otherwise being affectionate. Usually this will occur in private. She probably considers him a really sweet guy, which is the kiss of death.

First off, cuddle bitches are bad, bad things to be. Maybe the worst thing to be. I mean, being an Intellectual Whore is bad, but being an Intellectual Whore who has to endure blue-balls is bordering on criminal.

As to how it fits into the framework of the ladder.

Basically this is just a guy who has a very high position on the friends ladder. So far up the friends ladder that he gets the dubious honor of getting to provide all the intimacy that a girl is missing when she’s off fucking guys who basically don’t care about her like outlaw bikers and band members. So he gets to be the proxy father/confessor/friend/teddy bear for her, depending on what she is missing at the time. Perhaps the only consolation of this is a ladder jump to the real ladder seems statistically a little more likely to succeed. Of course, when one is that high up the fall is dreadful indeed….

How do we know this? Well, if a woman had a nice loving boyfriend then he would be doing all the cuddling and whatnot and likely wouldn’t stand for a woman maintaining a stable of cuddle bitches. Unless he’s completelty pussified, in which case she’s likely fucking some other people anyway.

For guys unacquainted with Ladder Theory, it is even worse. The cuddle bitch often thinks he is on the good ladder as opposed to the real ladder. So he gets all excited about his position instead of realizing he is being completely used. So this poor tool is really setting himself up for a fall at that point.

Note: This does not apply if cuddling under the influence of mushrooms, for the express purposes of avoiding hypothermia, or if the woman is a whore that you’ve recently paid for sex. Cuddling is perfectly acceptable and probably non-sexual in these circumstances.

Friends With Benefits:

This is the case where you get to sleep with a woman or have some sort of intimate physical relations without any sort of committment.

All we can say to this situation is: bravo! This is the optimal condition to be in–with as many women as possible.

A lot of people try to use this condition as a criticism of ladder theory, so I’ll state again here that this fits perfectly in the framework of ladder theory. A woman has two ladders, but the second one is the ‘guys I would have sex with’ ladder, NOT the ‘relationship ladder.’ So ‘friends with benefits’ is a complete fucking misnomer, since you are not actually ‘friends’, you are quite more than that. The Ladder Theory only states what makes a woman want to have sex with a man, it does not take the puerile view that women don’t want to have sex, or that they have to be somehow tricked into it. If you are a ‘friend with benefits’, then you are on the Real Ladder. Congratulations. If you get replaced, you haven’t been demoted ladders, you have merely been replaced by someone higher than you on the Real Ladder.

That being said, usually women are more interested in long-term relationships than men, and consent to this form of relationship because there is ladder disparity in favor of the male. A lot of women say that they are just having sex, they like it as much as men etc… While the second statement is undoubtedly exaggerated, there is no reason to think that women don’t want to have sex just as much as men. Which if course only makes it worse if a woman doesn’t want to have sex with you.

Of Female Footstools

Judging by the amount of mail I have gotten about it, a LOT of guys are using the tactic of making friends with the less-than-attractive friend of a girl they want to fuck in order to score points with the girl higher up the ladder. I have never found this to work very well for me personally, but it does not require an addendum to the Theory, and can be explained within the framework of Classical Ladder Theory.

Let us call the woman you are using to score points with the woman you want to fuck the ‘footstool.’ The woman you are trying to fuck we will call the ‘target.’

There are two basic situations here. One is that you would fuck the footstool. This is the easiest one. If you would fuck them then you’re not really friends. The other is that you wouldn’t fuck the footstool. If we look at the ways that men can have female friends we find if you wouldn’t fuck them or if you are fucking someone better. In this case the target is by definition better, or else the target would be the footstool. So the whole thing is explained by the Ladder Theory already. Of course the very idea of calling someone you are merely using to fuck someone else a ‘friend’ is a little ridiculous also.

One interesting thing about footstools is it is about as close as a woman can usually get to knowing what it is like to be an intellectual whore.

Exes

Exes are not a special case in the ladder. Usually when someone gets broken up with it’s because the other person thinks they can do better on the Ladder. Or already has. If you didn’t think you could do better why would you leave the one you were with?

The usual pattern for exes is to try to be friends, realize it’s not going to really work, and then become more and more distant toward each other over time. In any case, if you continue to fuck for a while, then you continue to fuck. You wouldn’t have had a relationship with them if they were not on the real ladder, so if it’s convienient there’s really no reason not to.

If you are friends, then the normal rules of how men and women can be friends applies. But it should be said, that many exes try to be friends because it seems like some shit they should do, when in reality one of them is hoping they will get back together or at least continue to fuck.

so there you go. a bit lengthy but it’s pretty interesting to note how differently men and women thing. anyway, here’s the webbie

http://www.intellectualwhores.com/masterladder.html

well done! i’ve just managed to ramble in my previous entry. hahaha.

haish. i seem to study better only with you around. :(

oh well but you have your french oral so it’s alright la!

jiayou! :)

je ne peux pas étudier! je ne sais pourquoi mais tu me manques beaucoup! je souhaiterais que tu retourne tôt! mais j’ai deux cours un peu plus tard, donc, je ne te vois pas aussi! c’est triste!

okay, now that i’m well and recovered from fever..

dear is down with fever!

haish. oh man.. so originally i was the patient and he was the doctor..

now he’s the patient and i’m the doctor.

haish, at this rate i miss my dear so much cos i see so little of him around!!

when he’s sick.. he sleeps most of the time… which means that he’s not really here to talk with me..

and when he’s awake.. he tells me not to get too near him for fear that he might spread the germs back to me..

so..

i end up having to lie on his belly and talking to his belly button instead!

boohoo!

i can’t kiss my dear on his cheek nor forehead nor lips.. cos that would be too close a contact..

so where can i kiss?

i guess i would just have to make do with the elbow, the back, and the tummy! wahhaha.

oh well i understand la dear. and thanks for being so nice, espeically cos i have a grande presentation tomorrow!

well, i’ll make sure i make that liang teh and you had better drink it before you go for breakfast tomorrow morning!

ahh. seeing you sleep like a baby is just so cute! haha. and i’ve killed the mozzie in your room which has managed to suck so much of my blood!!

i wonder if you’re cold. i had better cover you with a blanket before i leave!

and dear, you’re so cute by asking me to stay here to study instead of going up to my own room.

because in this way, i’ll be watching over you!

and thanks for saying that i would make an excellent wife! :)

and well, anything, just call me! if i can help.. I WILL!

love you dearie! get well soon!

*muacks*

okay yes, i haven’t been updating for a while. and i am officially sick.

down with a fever, and a damn painful throat. and my head feels heavy, my legs feel weak.. and my eyes are puffy! it’s like gravity is just pulling my eyelids down, making it difficult for me to do anything but sleep! boohoo! i know, i’m supposed to get more rest since i’m sick.. but where to find the time?

and it’s like i have sooooooo many meetings! saturday (which i postponed from today to tomorrow cos i probably can’t think very well now), sunday, monday.. and maybe even more! boohoo!

i had fish porridge for lunch and am drinking starfruit juice now. popped panadols and drank plenty of water. oh please, Lord, let me recover!

:(

changed the theme but haven’t had time to adjust the size of the photos for certain posts. they’re too large!

anyway, it’s boring here. no entries! sorry :(

busy mugging for experimental module tomorrow. it’s the last form of CA or any type of exam for this module (minus the lab report, of course) so i had better do it well!

things to do:

1. mug for experimental
2. read reading #2 for bioinfo
3. do Pfam for bioinfo miniproj
4. write abstract for bioinfo
5. study for french test
6. study for cell bio test
7. webcast
8. send aikido list to clarice
9. hand out refunds for aikido
10. reply email to joo
11. grande presentation
12. module mappings, ask for recommendation letters
13. experimental miniproject report
14. BLAST sequences for zebrafish

wahh. :(

that’s excluding mugging for exams!

haish.

i’m so freaking stressed that my period has been delayed for 3 weeks already! oh no! :(

okay, i’m back from tuition. reached there rather early.. so what happens was that i needed to find a place to study right? while waiting.. so apparently.. i found this place just below my tuition kid’s place!

can you spot it? it’s a little pavillion!

i like how the plants are around me.. and how close i am to nature. ahhh. perfect place to study. now i know!

well, you enter a lab. what do you expect to see??

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this obviously right? pipettes, pipette tips, test tube racks, test tubes for Miniprep, Eppendorf tubes, gloves, a waste tip container…

IS THAT ALL?

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obviously not right? especially when it’s the LAST LAB! (provided our sequencing results are fine!)

so you know, this is what you get…

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and you know, being zi lian..

hey! lab usually isn’t like this okay! it’s just because it’s the last one! and ehh. we were waiting and waiting for certain steps like ice the tubes for 15 min, centrifuge for 20 min.. too much waiting time leads to ultimate camwhoring! -_-”’

ps. don’t say i never update dear!

btw, this is rather cute!

oops! sorry for the lack of posts! i wanted to blog about my birthday celebration with my classmates.. but unfortunately i don’t have the photos from yinting yet!! :(

and why didn’t i bring my own camera? because i went for BioBiz and i totally FORGOT! what did you expect? i slept at 4plus am, woke up at 6plus am.. my brain wasn’t exactly functioning properly! :(

so there you go! lack of posts!

well, just a few jokes for the day

Incredible Coincidence

A blonde is crying her eyes out at work, and her boss asks what is wrong. “Early this morning, I got a phone call saying that my mother had passed away,” the blonde says. “Why don’t you go home for the day?” the boss suggests. “Thanks, but I’d be better off here,” the blonde says. The boss leaves, and the blonde goes back to work. A couple of hours pass, and the boss looks out from his office and sees the blonde again crying hysterically. “Are you going to be OK?” he asks. “No,” says the blonde. “I just received a horrible call from my sister. Her mother died, too!”

Does Anyone Speak Blonde?

A plane is on its way to Houston, when a blonde in economy gets up and moves to first class. The flight attendant watches her do this, asks to see her ticket, and then tells her she will have to go back to economy. The blonde replies that she is not moving. At this point, the attendant goes into the cockpit and tells the captain. “You say she’s a blonde,” the captain says. “I’ll handle this. I’m married to a blonde. I speak blonde.” The captain goes back to the blonde, whispers something in her ear, and she immediately gets up and goes back to her seat in economy. The flight attendant and co-pilot are amazed. “What did you say to make her move?” they ask. “Well,” says the captain, “I just told her first class isn’t going to Houston.”

God And Blondes

A down-on-her-luck blonde decides to pray to God: “God, please help me. I’ve lost my business, and if I don’t get some money, I’m going to lose my house as well. Please let me win the lottery.” Lottery night comes, and somebody else wins.

She again prays. “God, please let me win the lottery! I’ve lost my business, my house, and I’m going to lose my car as well.” Lottery night comes, and she still has no luck.

Once again, she prays. “God, why have you forsaken me? I’ve lost my business, my house, my car, and my children are starving. I don’t often ask you for help, but please let me win the lottery just this one time so I can get my life back in order.”

Suddenly there is a blinding flash of light, followed by the voice of God. “Sweetheart, work with me on this,” God says. “Go out and buy a ticket.

Key Is Rolling The Rrrrrs

Two tourists are driving through Louisiana, and as they approach Natchitoches, they start arguing about the pronunciation of the town. They argue back and forth until they stop for lunch. As they are standing at the counter, one tourist asks the blonde waiting on them, “Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce where we are very slowly?” The blonde leans over the counter and says, “Burrrrrrrr, gerrrrrrr, Kiiiiiiiing.”

Roots Affect Rooting

A guy takes his blond girlfriend to her first football game. They have great seats right behind their team’s bench. After the game, he asks her how she liked it. “Oh, I really liked it,” she replies, “but I just couldn’t understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents.” Confused, the blonde’s date asks, “What do you mean?” “Well, says the blonde, “they flipped a coin at the beginning, one team got it, and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was: `Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!’ I’m like, helloooooo? It’s only 25 cents!”

Honesty on the internet isn’t exactly what it seems!

alright, that’s all for now! bye!